Hermit's return

If you didn't know what wrong you did,
But hid from it anyway,
On what day would you say:
This is it: I rid my life of all this pain,
This shame;
This acidic drip of guilt and misery
I built,
I spit it from my mouth:
Not an ounce of it returns again.

And I won't explain.
I won't deface this moment with the broken remnants
Of long gone pasts and smattered, sour broth of
Caustic sentiments;
I won't address the devil in his depths,
And in so doing lessen my own wealth;
I've wept enough to furnish
Oceans from my tears, and fears that kept me
Hefting burdens, left me murdering the light of oh so many years.
I've been tested and molested by my mind's unsightly messes,
And to excess I held it all so dear.

Hear me out: I make this statement, clear and loud.
I won't accept another minute made of maddening derision and debasement;
I sing my song as proudly and as rowdily as lungs will carry,
And discard despairing.
In amazement,
I emerge encouraged from diminutive
Enslavement and malicious taming;
I live, and marry my delight and smile,
While daring life to bring me sweet surprises
And the kind of sights I had the mind to treasure
As a child.

I find this freedom, here and now.
Out with all this darkness, loss, and bullshit piled on my fiefdom.
Proud, I see my keep, and need no other.
I stand up tall, my sisters, brothers,
And insist on this, my chosen ground.
I'm ready to discover
All the good and the Grace that may abound.
I'm done with living in a pittance
Under suffering's covers.
I think I've earned it:
It's time this hermit goes to town.

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