I wandered in,
As if by accident;
As if by grace;
As if by magic;
Enwreathed in smoke,
Still steaming,
From the trials, fires, and teeming tribulations I invoked
And even as I watched the door,
With wide eyed, calamitous imaginings,
A testament to struggles I endured,
Men stretched out their hands
As friends, to me: demurred
And asked me to sit down with them,
Depart my timid fiddle sticks
And mourn my warring happenings.
The back and forth
The endless loop de loops
And shouting matches with the sun
That left me wounded
And my fingers fumbling
For taste of sweet reprieve, and more
And more
'Til I was done
It left me hanging, by a thread
It dropped me dazed upon the ground
Wishing in half hearts that I was dead;
But clinging, still, to life,
I paid my prices,
Littered with such tragic, sour strife,
Embattled with myself and maddened deathly rattles rising.
This place to pause,
This chance to change,
To put to sleep my demons,
Seek the cause of my appall and shame;
To find a new beginning;
To test the waters free from weariness
And dreary drudge,
And meet my judgements with a brotherly embrace
That has but one name: Love
I pray that peace begin;
I seek the way that opens from the flow within;
I break my bread in moonlit wonderment,
And cherish every handshake, smile,
And the righteous timeliness of growing grins
That flower out of otherness.
I say I needed somewhere safe, to start anew.
I say I must make more of it than casting it aside, as empty as my days of use.
I say I must be brave, courageous,
Humble as a hummingbird,
So this time: my mind may face the truth.
And though I stumble, stutter, and dispute
This is why I need my brothers,
This is why I seek the strength of mothers,
This is why I thank that life has brought me here,
Thank you, God: what brought me here is you;
Guided to the shores where I recover,
Where light begins again,
And puts an end to all my fear,
And grants me yet another bright romance with truth.
And so I wandered in.
And as I stay, and as I grow,
And as I find, and as I know,
My soul begins to dance, anew.
Surprised at what my eyes describe,
And that, at last, I'm not alone
I'm taking up this chance.
At last,
I find myself in you.
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